Memories and Regrets

I was over at my Mom's last night and happened upon one of my sisters' high school yearbooks. We're three years apart, with her being the oldest. Her last year in high school was my first. The yearbook that I found laying out was from her Senior year. Naturally, I picked it up and started leafing through it.

I'm not a person that leans toward sentimentality, so this is not something I do often. Honestly, I only owned this one particular yearbook and threw my copy away sometime back. High school was not my favorite period in life. I was a rebel to say the least and my interests led me in other directions, but that's another story!

Browsing through these pages brought back so many memories. About half of the people pictured had been in Middle school with me and many attended the same Elementary school, as well. Some I hadn't thought about in years and a few I still see from time to time.

As these memories came rushing back, I was struck by how vivid they were. Some seem like they occurred just yesterday. The reality is that my freshman year was 19 years ago! That hit me like a ton of bricks - almost 20 years have passed since I began high school. I have officially spent more time on this earth as an adult than as a child...ouch! I'm old!

When did this happen?

Where did the time go?

What have I achieved?

Where is my life going from here?

The truth is that I'm not sure when it happened. Honestly, I feel like I was running around without a care in the world a few months ago. I can see the results of my life daily in the lives of my children but, what about the rest?

Have I achieved the goals I had set for myself in school? Not really. I veered off track quite early by becoming a teen mom at age 15. Before that time I was sure that I would be a world traveler and possibly take over the world one day. (As you can tell, I didn't lack confidence!) I always felt that I would be financially set by age 30 and ready to live my life solely for my own entertainment.

The reality:

• I haven't been outside of the U.S.


• I lost the confidence I once had somewhere around 18, settled for less than I should've many times over, and only recently regained this strength - through the grace of God.


• I'm in my early 30's and am far from being financially set.

Am I disappointed? A little. I wish I'd had the strength and courage long ago to continue on the path of my dreams. I wish I'd taken more time with my family and children to enjoy life along the way.

However, I've discovered that I've grown through these experiences. I no longer care about big houses, fancy cars, or plush living. I just want to be happy, healthy, and have time to serve others!

Many of us are faced with disappointments and discouraging factors daily. I think what matters the most is how we handle what we're given. Do we let these disappointments drive us off course or do we learn from them?

Where am I going from here? I'm not sure. I haven't attempted to make a plan in over 5 years, which is far too long. This is something I'll be working on this week - my goals, personally and familial. I challenge you to do the same. It's harder to be driven off track if you have a current map of the trip you need to take!

Holiday prep

So, the Christmas tree is up and decorated. All of the other holiday items have been spread out over the house. What else is there to do?

Take a breath. If you're like most people the next few weeks will be a hectic journey, at best. Before you get too caught up in the holiday hoopla make time for yourself. Treat yourself to a quiet corner of the house. Take a long soak in the tub. Make time for a manicure - at home or at the salon. Curl up with a good book. Go for a long walk. Whatever it is that helps you unwind and reconnect - do it while you have time!

Make time for a family day. Many of us have tons of party invites or other social engagements, some of which we'll attend solo or as a couple. Be sure that your family knows that you still have time for them. It will keep them from feeling the stress you're under by being consistent with their normal schedule. If family day is not normal make it a priority now and continue it after the holidays. You'll be amazed at how close you'll become!

Encourage your family to help with preparations. I was guilty of taking over everything and trying to cover all of the bases myself. Inevitably, I would be exhausted while everyone else was laying around the living room. Share the activities. You'll gain valuable family time and assistance. By the way, it is alright for everything to NOT be perfect. If it's not perfect other people will know that you did it yourself. So, if the kids pitch in and things look a little messy don't panic. Smile and make a memory for yourself!

Simplify Thanksgiving

How do you simplify Thanksgiving?

Start by cutting back on your cooking.

• Do you really need a 25 pound turkey? Yes, if you have more than 10 people coming. If not, NO.

• Do you have to serve turkey AND a ham? Yes, if you have someone over that is allergic to turkey. Otherwise, NO.

• What are you going to do with all of those leftovers? If you plan on reusing them in dishes for several days after, freezing or donating them, fantastic! If not, why waste the effort and the money to throw away all of that food?

Only invite the amount of people that your home will hold. Why invite 25 people if your table only holds 10? You will add stress to your day by worrying over where everyone will sit.

Make time to eat! Sounds simple enough, right? But, the truth of the matter is that if you are the person doing most of the preparation and hosting then your needs always come last. Believe it or not, your family came to spend time with you, not to critique how perfectly browned your turkey is or how few lumps are in the mashed potatoes. Take time to sit down and enjoy the meal with your loved ones. That's what they'll remember about they day.

Take time to give thanks. Many people forget to do this on Thanksgiving. Remarkable isn't it? Thanksgivings without thanks do occur. Don't let this happen in your home! Set aside a special moment to announce the things you are thankful for in your life. It can be as few or as many items as you like. The quantity is not as important as the thought.