Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Misci - My Pre-50 list

What's a Pre-50 list? According to my new buddy, Thomas, I need a list of things to achieve before 50. This all came about earlier this week from my post about Memories and Regrets. If you guys didn't see his comment, please read it.

Thomas, thank you for reading and caring enough to respond. What a precious person you are and how fortunate are the people who are lucky enough to be able to know you personally!

*********


We all have moments of regret stemming from memories of times past. A few days ago I was having some of those "remember when" moments. The moments turned into a great big "What in the world happened?" and "What am I doing with my life?" day. The day has now morphed into a "How am I going to get back on track? And do I even want to..." week.

It happens, right? No big deal.

This past year meant many changes for myself and my family. I felt a strong calling to serve my community more and, in answer to that call, left my full-time job of ten years. It wasn't something I did lightly. A lot of thought and planning went into the move. I even had some ducks lined up to tide us over, as we weren't in the perfect financial situation.

Unfortunately, the first duck flew off without the full payout, which left us with unanticipated bills remaining. The second duck was rejected and is basically dead in the water without further funding. The third duck laid a multitude of eggs, which all fertilized, and left us with more unexpected bills. You see where this is going....

In the midst of the duck saga, my son decided he wanted to be homeschooled this year due to many issues during his first year in middle school. The issues were leading to health problems and were changing him into someone he didn't even like, so I readily accepted the challenge. This was a large goose, come to roost...unexpectedly...

My dedication to the community has never wavered in all of this. It has actually grown stronger. As a family, we spend about 35 hours a week volunteering in some capacity or another. About 20-25 hours of that is mine, in an average week. This is such a bright spot in my life and a wonderful area of growth for my family. I would hate to give it up.

I'm stuck. I'm torn between an obligation to provide for my family and the heartfelt obligation I feel to serve God completely in this area. My prayers are continually answered with the feeling that I need to continue in my service. However, my faith is wavering on where the funds will come from to sustain us.

The sales at my store on e-Bay have dropped to almost nothing. My Etsy shop has yet to garner a sale. And I keep pushing. I'm afraid that if I wait any longer we may lose everything we have, which truly isn't all that much. Yet, that said, I'm even more afraid that I'll fail God in the quest He's given me.

So here's my baby steps to a "Pre-50 list" -
  • Continue serving God and His people to the best of my ability.
  • Search for and secure a part-time job as fast as possible.
  • Continue praying for guidance.
  • Continue homeschooling my son in the fall, because I feel it's the best education we can give him.
  • Continue promoting my Etsy and e-Bay shops for another 2 months. If things don't pick up, I'll have to stop spinning my wheels there.

This post is not about pity or sympathy. It's about reality. It's about choices all of us face daily and how we choose to handle them. Do we get up and dust ourselves off or wallow in the dirt wondering why we keep getting dirt up our nose?

Is this the right answer for me? I won't know for a few weeks but, it's a chance I have to take or risk losing a roof over my head. Sadly, when I say that, I'm mentally confronted with all of the verses in the Bible that tell me that God will provide. So, am I misinterpreting my calling or not trusting enough??? That's a million dollar question...where's Miss Cleo when you need her?

Disclaimer: There were no ducks or geese hurt in the writing of this post!

10 comments:

Jadielady said...

I also believe that God will provide, and that everything happens for a reason.
*hugs* I think everything will work out. Your etsy items are beautiful, and I think as the economy upswings more people will be able to spend money on beautiful things again.
And yes, I am very lucky to know Thomas in person ;)

Thomas said...

*awww schucks - swipes foot*

You commented on my not so happy post from yesterday. When I can, I fix customer complaints and respond. That one particular customer from NY, didn't like my proposals. But it was all I had, and rather creative too. oh well, he'll have to figure out what he wants, I'm not budging.

oh Hello Misci, nice to read you.
Okay so family first, and God counts there. Family understands us, God knows us best. I believe that God knows your trying, and what matters is the effort. God wants you to succeed. God knows you will have your challenges and has all the time in the universe to be patient with you.

To me is seems that praying for guidance is your fortress, your hug if you will. So you have 4 items to concentrate on, cause regardless, God's gonna be there and you know it. *oh see, you know it* Good start.

Continuing to serve God and his people, starts with you and your family. To help others - keep your center secure and focused. Your son is fortunate to have your support and foundation. And since the home-schooling is moving right along, let's get a job.

Etsy and eBay - That's part of your center and focus. Never give up, never surrender.

So, my analytical mind wants to know - where do you want to work.

Next post....

ansigrav - to rave about your Pre-50 list answers. *woot*

Thomas said...

P.S.: I'm pretty durn lucky to know Jadielady as well.

ficshtie - ick, some sort of fisherman's reference.

Thumperdd said...

Well, you two went and did it...you made me cry. Thank you both for your thoughtful responses. I'm not giving up. I'm just human...disappointed when things don't turn out quite like you'd hoped. Things could be much worse than what they are and, boy, am I ever thankful that they're not!

Jadie - thanks for the comment on my Etsy items. It's like a soothing balm when other people enjoy your creations, especially when they're as talented as you!

Thomas - I would LOVE to find something to do that directly helps others. I've worked in Customer Svc all of my life. I've been looking for something in the non-profit sector but, they're taking it hard in this economy...

Anyway, thanks again! You two are lucky to know each other in person!

Danita

Anne Marie@Married to the Empire said...

I've been way behind on blogging, and I'm trying to catch up. I'd been planning to post about the wonderful dishcloths I won on your site. I'll be sure to post the address to your Etsy store along with it. Your stuff is beautiful, well-made, WAY better than some crocheted dishcloths I bought from someone else online a couple of years ago. I don't know if a link on my little site will help or not, but I'm hoping it will!

I do understand where you are right now. I've been a SAHW for 10 years now, and there have been times when I wonder if I need to go back to teaching full-time. The answer seems to keep coming up no so far, but I struggle with it often, especially as big, expensive things keep happening to our house.

I've no doubt that things will work out somehow. I'll be praying for you.

Thumperdd said...

AnneMarie,

That is so thoughtful of you. I'm so happy you like the cloths but, please don't feel obligated to post about them. Enjoy them and use them until they're threadbare, that's thanks enough for me!

I'll be praying for you, too. I'm coming to believe that the feeling of helplessness when problems arise is one of the worst to experience. It so very hard to let others have the reins when you're used to being in control. If only we weren't quite so human in that respect...

I bet you made a great teacher. You seemed to have such a good time when your neices were here.

Danita

Anne Marie@Married to the Empire said...

I don't feel obligated! I want to do this. It'll be up tonight at 1am. :-)

Like I said, I don't know if it will help because I don't have a huge following or anything, but it's one more outlet for getting your stuff out there.

Thomas said...

Anne Marie needs a Pre-50 list of her own. First item: build up her blog followers.

Get to work Anne Marie!


bagrober - In a world where "d" sounds like a "g" (I think England, more likely Scotland) a bagrober (pronounced Bahg-row-bah) is a Bad Robber. A thief that is often caught in the act.

Thumperdd said...

Thomas,

Head over and follow her, man. Her hubby is right up your alley - he's a stormtrooper and you're Mighty Mouse - together you could save the world OR shoot it up...


Danita

Thomas said...

I left married to the empire a note about doing a pre-50 list.


joyes - gleefully pestering the blog buddies of others.